Archive for the ‘family’ Category

Independence Day

Tuesday, April 26th, 2011

The wife and I were scrambling to put in an order of free glasses at Clearly Contacts, and we had to repeatedly ask Erik (almost 4 now) to play by himself.

We suddenly noticed it was rreeeall quiet … the kind of quiet that makes parents curious. So Anita called out to him, no answer.

We called from the hallway “Erik??”

“Yes mommy?”

“Whatcha doing?”

“Playing Lego Hero Factory Dot Com” (what he calls Lego.com)

Turns out he went downstairs, flipped open the laptop, went online and started playing his favourite games.

Independence, finally.

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Office Cat

Wednesday, February 23rd, 2011

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TUNACAT

Sunday, January 23rd, 2011

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Meow.

Dunn’s Famous Letdown

Saturday, January 22nd, 2011

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I guess we got over excited by the news and missed the details; we drove / skytrained / walked to downtown to eat cheesecake and smoked meat at Vancouver’s new import and Montreal’s classic Dunn’s Famous Restaurant.

It just isn’t open yet. DOH!!

The last thing I see every night before I fall asleep

Sunday, September 19th, 2010

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Mmmm sushi

Tuesday, August 24th, 2010

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From Namoo Sushi in Port Moody, a nice quiet unknown treasure that Erik loves.

Science!

Saturday, August 21st, 2010

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ScienceWorld that is. Followed by a trip to Splitz Burger, mmm.

Dear Bear Grylls

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

Dear Bear,

My wife has a question she told me to ask you.

See, we live in a 3-floor townhouse and often think of stupid things while we’re on long road trips.  One thing that came up a few times is how we’d escape from our top floor if we woke up in the middle of the night to find our middle floor engulfed in a huge inferno.  Hopefully it never happens, but I was a Boy Scout … and you can relate obviously … so I like to be prepared.  I’m the kind of guy who went so far as to stash a spare set of shorts and flip-flops in the car in case I get wet somehow far from home.

If any part of the house were on fire, we’d have to run down the stairs from the 3rd to the 2nd floor, and through the 2nd floor to get to the back door or to reach the stairs that lead down to the bottom floor which also has an exit to the great outdoors (the building dissects uneven land, so we can reach the outdoors through the back of the 2nd or front of the 1st floor).  So it stands to reason that if the middle floor (where our kitchen is) was on fire, we’d be screwed.  Following me so far?  Of course.

My wife’s idea is to buy one of those emergency hang-from-the-window ladders and scramble down.  Oh did I mention we have a 3-year-old boy whose room is also on the top floor?  Well we do.  He thinks you’re awesome by the way, I said you’re Superman and this show we’re watching is what Superman does when crime takes a holiday.  That’s why you’re always in such a hurry to get out of wherever you are, because crime takes short holidays.

The ladder would work, but getting the boy down would be hard if not impossible.  I can’t get him to stand still long enough to put on his socks, nevermind hold onto me so I can climb safely down a ladder.  He’d probably survive a straight drop to Mother Earth but likely wouldn’t enjoy it, and as the apple of my eye my entire life is now devoted to making sure things are enjoyable for him.  And I’m horrible on ladders, climbing up is OK but I freak out going down.

Idea #2 is to prepare some decent rope under the kid’s bed, so if there’s a fire we’d just tie it around him and lower him to the ground (did you see the movie Up?  Kinda like that but hopefully without dropping him.)  Then again, if the kitchen was on fire we’d be lowering him right to it.  Outside, but still, the big patio window is right there and seeing his artwork on the fridge go up in flames would likely be life alteringly terrifying.

Another problem with idea #2 is that while the kid is on the ground we’d still be stuck in the room.  I guess we could try to shimmy down but we’d probably just end up with horrible rope burn at the least.  Likely we’d simply fall and die.  And then he’d be outside alone, terrified from the flaming-fridge-artwork horror and run off screaming towards the train tracks.

Back to the original point:  What Would Bear Do?

I imagine Bear would just grab the kid in one hand, grab the wife in the other, leap from the window with a grin and eat a cockroach at the same time, land happily and put out the fire with spare urine you had lying about in spare snake skin bladders hanging off the back fence for just these kinds of emergencies.

Well, best of luck with this season’s amazing adventures.  If you’re ever in Port Moody, BC and want to do something really manly show me how to escape from our townhouse.

Jens “Narwhal” Petersen

Cat Puke, Bleach, Poop and Cookies

Friday, January 1st, 2010

My morning turned into a Rube Goldberg Machine of ridiculous events.

First we had breakfast, Cheerios all around.  That went well.

Then I saw the pack of wet cat food that Santa left for Tuna Cat.  I thought she’d like that, so I put her up on the table and grabbed a bowl and she went crazy with purrs and anticipation for yummy smelly cat nuggets of “food”.  I tore open the pack, and she tore into it.

Then she leaped off the table, fat and full and satisfied.  So I started cleaning the kitchen.

Then I heard it.

HURP

HURP

HURP

BLAARRRRP

Yay, cat puke.  All over the carpet.  Anita ran over quickly enough to pick her up and put her on the kitchen tile floor (much easier to clean up).  She puked some more.  Oh well, just proves that she’s a dry food only kind of cat.  Lesson learned.

We started cleaning up and the kid wanted to help.  Well, Erik, that’s nice and all, but dddd 11 … ahh see, thats’ what he does, he sticks his fingers and nose into everything.  Like this keyboard while I’m typing.

So there’s Mom and Dad double-teaming these steaming piles of cat puke, Erik (who usually plays alone very well when we ask him to) insists on helping, and this is just frustrating us more.  The cat is nowhere to be seen.

Eventually we get it all cleaned up and we’re ready to get the heck out of the house.  We try to get out every day, and since today its raining like mad outside we decide to head to the mall so the kid can stretch his legs and we can get some shitty food.  Why not.  Nothing else is open today.

Before we head out we need to see if the kid will poop, so we bring him upstairs to his bathroom / potty.

The cat puked in there too.  All over the tile and the carpet.

I figure while I’m in there cleaning and bleaching I may as well clean and bleach his potty too.  So everything goes into the tub and I start scrubbing.  Then I drop the bleach spray bottle and it splashes up all over my clothes.  Greeeat.

So now I’m cursing under my breath, squished between the toilet and the bathtub (seriously, I’m going to punch the next plumber I see) on my hands and knees trying to clean things, I’m half naked, covered in who-knows-what, and now the cat comes back.

Bleach, you see, makes my cat mental.  Much worse than catnip.

My hand, apparently, looked like a mouse to her, and she attacked it with vigor.

Once I was done, the kid got to poop, and we all headed downstairs to decompress with some delicious homemade cookies.

The End.

My Toddler Installed Qimo Linux

Tuesday, December 22nd, 2009

My kid isn’t overly interested in computers or any of the other tech junk I have lying around the house, he’s happily into play-dough and Hot Wheels and make believe and just goofing off in the funniest ways I’ve never imagined.  Computers have always been around, like the clock on the wall, the fridge, candle holders, books, sunglasses, the rug and the cat.  He doesn’t really care for any of those things — well, actually he really likes books.  We’ve been in the habit of reading at least three books to him every night before bedtime, and he’s hooked, he can’t (refuses) to fall asleep without a good reading.

Anyways, where was I?  Oh yeah, computers.

So I inherited this ancient computer from my best client, a 1.2 Mhz Intel Celeron with 256 MB of RAM.  Nothing great, but not old enough to throw out.  After all my awesome, kick-ass pfSense firewall/router is running on a much older Pentium-3.  Old stuff can still be useful.  Like me.  I’m old and useful.

I thought it would be fun to set up a kid-friendly OS for the munchkin, and set out to try every single linux distribution under the sun.  Ubuntu is good, Suse works fine, all the big names install and run beautifully.  But I was on the hunt for a real kid-centric OS.

I stumbled on Qimo Linux, which is tagged as “Qimo 4 Kids – Software for Kids”.  The install was very lightweight, is based on Ubuntu so you know the hardware compatibility is wide, and installed really quickly.  So quickly my 2.5 year old boy actually stood around and watched the entire process with me.

Hey, he doesn’t stick around long enough to help mom make a batch of cookies.

Yes the subject of this post does indicate that he installed it himself, well he could … in a year or so I guess.  He’ll still be a toddler by then right?  The installer is that easy.

Once it was up and running I handed over the proverbial keys and showed him a few things.  Like how moving the mouse correlates to the pointer on the screen, how to left-click, and how to mash the shit out of the keyboard.

Now he fires up Tux Paint and loves the hell out of it, you should see his masterpieces.  A fireman with a banana hat riding a dinosaur and birthday cakes all around.  That sort of cool stuff.  He’s very proud of his paintings.  I should hook it up to the network so he can print them, I guess.

I’ll wait ’till he figures out how to do that himself.